You will remember my lunch appointment with E from yesterday. These are some follow-up thoughts.
E is disappointed in one of our staff members because E doesn’t think he spends enough (or the right kind of) time with his family. The staff member is a part-time servant who leads our worship.
E wants to make him take a month off to think about how he is leading his family. Take it off with pay. E’s point is that S (our worship guy) works too much and that the ministry effects his family negatively. If it can’t be reversed, it is time to let S go because that is what is best for S. Noble, isn’t he.
I dare not tell him that ministry has absolutely been a detriment to my family. My relationship with my wife is more strained. My children see me less. I carry a huge burden of stress that I wouldn’t have if it were not for the church. I am snappy. I am tired.
It has not always been that way, but it is now.
But should they furlough me for my own good?
What E doesn’t understand is that ministry is not simply a clock in and out job. There are aspects of this job that are pure work. Like meeting with E. And there are aspects of this job that are pure joy. Like preaching, teaching and interacting with people.
The things that are joy are the reason I do what I do. The other aspects are the reason I would not do this without a paycheck. The joyful aspects of my role here are the things that come out of who I am and are not simply what I do. I read, contemplate, love, etc because those things are in the DNA God gave me. I administrate, listen to complaints, approve budgets, and meet with E because I need a job.
I dream of a day when I don’t need a job.
Back to S. 90% of S’s job is the stuff that gives him joy (I am sure he meets with E sometimes too…hence the 10%). He serves and leads worship because that is who he is and who God made him to be. He practices and plans with his guitar sitting on a piano bench with his oldest daughter playing and others of his family singing along. It is who he is and how he relates to God.
To make him take time off because E thinks it is best for him doesn’t help him be more fulfilled in his family, it makes him less fulfilled with God.
I have voiced my objection. I need to make sure it is heard among the rest of the elders. E will win. He is an elder and I am not. He is a faster talker, bigger bully than I am. It saddens me.
What, specifically, will let (you and) E know that S is in correct fellowship with his family? Maybe E could give you some details on that.
He wants to see perfect kids (like his). He wants there to be a lot more rules. He wants to see them not drink Starbucks (finances).
Ultimately, he wants to control everything.