Amazing K

Today was a horrible day.  I spent most of my day reeling from the pain of yesterday’s sermon.  I dreaded facing the elders this morning for our prayer time because I knew they would be upset because I dealt with the abuse so directly.  In the midst of the day I had moments where I just couldn’t even function because I was fighting my own feelings of worthlessness…as a father, as a pastor, as a husband, as a businessman, just in general.

This paralysis is fairly new for me.

Mid-morning, I received a text from K.  She is also struggling with the emotions of yesterday.  She is three years into a nightmare from which she is only now showing signs of awakening.  Three years of the kid side of the feelings I am feeling right now.  She feels is 100x what I feel.

I promised to pray for her.  I did.  We made plans to go to coffee after she got out of school.  I would encourage her.

My day went down hill from there.  My afternoon was awful. Confusion as to what God is doing.  Wondering where I fit.  Angry at myself.

I almost cancelled with K.  I didn’t.

I picked her up.  On the way to coffee, I asked gently about her day. We talked.  She had a rough one.

We ordered our coffee and sat down.  Within a few turns of the conversation, she was assuring me, “You can’t blame yourself.”  “I know you are angry, just keep going.” “You are going to be ok.

Then there was a pause.  She asked me if I recognized this talk.  “You should, you have given it to me enough.”

The student becomes the teacher.  Amazing.

Thank you, God.  For from the broken comes healing for others.

Amazing.