The Wandering Shepherd

Our church is a couple hours from two different church camps.  Both camps are having “Family Camps” over Labor Day weekend.  Long story short.  We have a lot going on right now and opted to promote neither through the bulletin, newsletter, etc.

T’s wife loves family camp.  (T is an associate pastor).

T’s wife – TM – sent me an email asking if we could put a bunch of information about her favorite camp in the bulletin, on announcement slides, verbal announcements, etc.  I wrote her back and said we had decided not to promote it and the reason.  She fired back a hostile email demanding answers as to why we would not promote the camp and how much people loved the camp, etc, etc, etc.

Oh yeah, she CC’d the elders.  I guess she forgot the part of the game where when she doesn’t get what she wants, she threatens to tell daddy.  She just went straight to daddy thinking daddy would give her whatever she wants.

Did I mention that there are some odd dynamics at this church?

I was ticked.

So I called T in and discussed it with him.  All pastors have to deal with people like this, of course, but, they shouldn’t be staff wives.

T is going to talk with TM.  I hope that goes well.

I would have been horrified if my wife, W, did something like that.  This place is a little crazy.

On the floor of my office are 3 unpacked boxes.  They have been there for almost a year.

On my shelves are books.  They are un-arranged.  They have been so for almost a year.

The drawers of my desk are nearly empty, with only a few pens rattling around in there.  They have been that way for almost a year.

The reason is simple.  I never know when this thing is going to be over.  Just when I think I might have feet under me, they are kicked out.  Just when I think I am about ready to get out and wave goodbye, something happens that it doesn’t come to pass.

God, what am I doing here?  Should I unpack?  Should I arrange books?  Should I fill my desk?  Should I go find boxes?

God, I don’t know your plan.  I know I am ready for your plan to be just a teeny, tiny bit clearer.

L, our secretary, is the wife of a former elder, R.

L has been going nuts calling people, emailing, and generally spreading her anger all around.  For three days.  Today she came in and shared her bile with the volunteer who came in to do the bulletin.  Sad.

I, along with the elders, just received a note from R.  He wrote to tell us L is doing better.  The flavor of the note was an apology.  I think he has been a bit embarrassed by her behavior.  In his note, there was no hint of anger.  I think he is still processing his own thoughts and feelings on everything.  Nothing even remotely hostile.  He sounded in control and reasonable.

There is a reason R was an elder.  I have some hope there will be some resolution.

When we took this job, E was the one who “negotiated” my salary.  What he really did was lie to me.

I could go on and on, but two examples.

I used cost of living calculators to see what the equivelent of my current salary would be in the new location.  I told E what that was.  He came back to me with a number $10,000 below.  I pushed back and said, “W and I really need to make this at least a lateral move.”  He said he would go back to the elders and see what he could do.  He called me the next day to say that the elders had discussed it and their first offer was all they could do.

I found out that was a lie.  He never went back to the elders and just thought he could get me cheap.  He did.

I told E I believed God was calling me here, so we would come.  He promised me they would work to get it where it belonged.  “We’ll review your salary in six months and get it where it belongs.”  Guess what.

It was a lie.  He never communicated that with anyone.

Today I saw the offer letter the elders approved.  When compared with the offer letter he sent me, he cut the salary by $1000 just because he could.

The past is the past.  The elders will not honor E’s word.  In fact, I don’t think they can.  The budget is just too tight.

The budget is filled with things that don’t belong.  I have been going through and cleaning things up.  Just taking out waste, I have cleared up $6-7,000/yr.  I have another $14,000 annually that will incrementally clear out of the budget over the next couple years.

Finding better, less expensive ways to do things is one of the things I do well.

One of the cuts I made was to clean up our phone bill–cutting it by over $200 per month.

Monday night at the elders meeting, I proposed that we take that $200 in phone expense and use it to help the staff pay for the cell phones they use for ministry (including sitting at their desks at the office).  It would be a zero cost way to cover something that is a legitimate expense of the church as well as communicate to the staff we appreciate them.

The answer was “no.”  “No,” because our contracts say that they have built into our salaries all reimbursements for things like cell phones.  “If we paid for these kinds of things,” they said, “your salary would be a lot less.”

Really?  I came for substantially less than I made before.  I was lied to.  The elders (not fully their fault) reneged on their promises.  This ministry has cost me financially, spiritually, emotionally–it has been hell on my family.

They can tell me that if they paid the costs of ministry–phone, mileage, books, etc.–they would reduce my salary?  Seriously?

So, even with a net cost of $0, they would not bless the staff.

I wonder if there are ways two can play at the pettiness game?

We all know I won’t, but sometimes it makes you want to.

**********

BTW–if W were to get on here and put her thoughts….my post would look tame.

B, the elder who threw me under the bus is coming back to “talk” to me.

The plus side, is that this blog will likely get more interesting again.  :)

Grab some popcorn.

Today, the venom has begun.

Elders are all rethinking their positions.

One of them, in my presence and as L accused me of gunning for her, apologized to L for the whole decision and said we were wrong.  It was their decision.  Their call.

The elder who just threw me under the bus?  He is the one who, at the meeting, giggled and said they had talked about it two years ago and knew she wasn’t cutting it.   They didn’t do anything about it.

Chips are going fast.

Years ago I heard someone talk about pastors and church politics as having a stack of poker chips.

When a pastor comes to the church, he (or she) is given a stack of chips with which he pays for the influence he wields.  Over time, he earns chips to add to his stack.  Every time he makes a decision that pushes people a little, he pays for that with chips.  As long as the pastor still has chips, the people allow him to make changes and put up with him.  If he tries to make a change he cannot pay for, he is done.

Last night at an elders meeting we had a frank discussion about our secretary’s job performance and aptitude.  She has been here for 8 years and does not possess the skill set to do the job and, in the time I have been here, does not show the aptitude to learn them.

Ultimately, the elders decided it was time for her to go.  We discussed ways to make it happen, but all those ways seemed to me to be setting her up to fail and would put another chink in her already low self-esteem.

We have noted many times, our church is over-staffed for her size.  Budgets have been tight (we are $12K below this year with nothing in the bank) and I made the suggestion that we could possibly do without a secretary for a year and use volunteer labor to fill the gaps.  They liked that idea.

They decided, and I concurred, we would eliminate the position entirely.  That way, our secretary would lose her job, but the reason would not be personal.  It was a budgetary concern and eliminating a staff position.  I argued successfully for a generous severance package so she could find work.

W asked me after I got home, “Did it cost you many chips?”

I told her it didn’t.  None, in fact.  It was their decision entirely.

I didn’t expend them yesterday.  I expended them today.

Today, it was my job to tell her we were cutting her job.  She blew up, said angry, hurtful, untrue things and stormed out.  Now, as word spreads through the congregation what a terrible person I am for letting her go, I have to figure out how many chips I have left.

I will not tell people she was incompetent.  As ugly as things may get…and I expect them to get that way…I just expend chips to say, “We are cutting the position.”  I don’t get to cut my chip losses and say, “She was a terrible secretary.”

It is a strange thing.  You can protect someone’s self-esteem and reputation while they say unkind and untrue things about you.

The stack is smaller.